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"Victoria Cochran" victoria.cochran92@yahoo.com, Do not send me anymore SPAM.

Get personal advice online from Queen of Sheba, innovative problem solver. Can you stump the Queen? Is there any prob she can't solve? She's a Problems Solver. She's a Personal Adviser. She's a keen problem solver but she's not part of the Keen network. All her advice is free, not just the first session. Read what others have asked and what she has answered. An online Advice Column. She solves lots of problems. Ask her your question today.

Tip For This Month:

Apple Cider Vinegar

Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) is one of the healthiest things you can add to your diet. It will give you a wide variety of benefits and I won't be able to tell you all about them here. But I can give you some of the highlights.

One of the most important things is it will change the ph of your body. This will keep you from getting many illnesses and even get rid of some you already have. Such as arthritis, inflammation, migraine headaches, soar throat including strep throat, indigestion, poison ivy, shingles, night sweats, burns, varicose veins, impetigo, ringworm, and more.

It will help your body to detox.

It will give you more energy and mental clarity.

It will help you loose weight.

It will provide Potassium and other minerals.

To get the most benefits you should take organic ACV. However, it is quite expensive, about 10 times the cost of non organic. I myself take the non organic because I still get many of the benefits.

The least amount you should take is one teaspoon 3 times per day, usually with meals. Mix it into a glass of water. I add a little Stevia to sweeten it. You can learn about Stevia at my friend's website. I take 1/4 cup per day, split into 3 times per day. I take 1 tablespoon before breakfast, 2 tablespoons before noon dinner, and 1 tablespoon before supper. I take the larger dose with my largest meal.

If you want to learn more about ACV, try to get this book from your library: Folk Medicine, A Vermont Doctor's Guide to Good Health by D.C. Jarvis, M.D., 1958. Nov. 2009, code TM5.

Most Recent Q & A:

I am in love with a married guy.

Dear Queen,

I am in love with a married guy. He is changing his decision always as once he says he never apart from me, later he goes without saying anything. I cant live without him. Now we took a home and stays together. I am 26 years and he is 32.yesterday again he left me...in this home I am alone again. Don't know what to do? Cant suicide as my dad too expired recently...my mom and sister will be alone.... soon I may become a mad girl.

Signed, C.V.

Dear C.V.,

Please do yourself one big favor -- Do not get involved with any married men. The very first thing you check out is if he is married and if he is, don't even talk to him. Don't look at him. Stay clear away from him.

But whether or not he is married, clearly he doesn't care about you. He is using you, probably for sex and maybe also to boost his self-esteem. Forget about him. Go find yourself a nice unmarried man who will care about you and treat you good.

There is nothing you can do if someone doesn't care about you. Get yourself involved in social groups such as a church or school groups. Make lots of friends both male and female. Don't sit around the house moping. If you are so down emotionally that you can't do this then phone or go to social services that will help you. Code: Q109.

The Queen, 12/12/11

How to tell husband I want a divorce?

Dear Queen,

I am married and have been for 30 years and my husband has cheated on me a long time ago and I have not been happy since. I do not love my husband and I even don't make love to him anymore. I meet this man, call him John, that worked with my mom and he is just a friend and he has always gave me positive advice to stay with my husband. I don't know but I feel deeply in love with John and I didn't say anything to him or anyone about it. Then it came the day he was going to transfer to a different town because his job needs him there. About an hour away and he gave my mom his number so she could call him anytime for anything. He loves my mom and dad very much and they love him to. I didn't get the chance to tell him bye when it was his last day. A few weeks latter I called John to see how he was doing and that my mom missed him a lot. Then one day he called to talk with my mom because he knew her treatment time. Anyways I tx him just to say hi and see how he was doing and he tx back and asked if I was ok and I said yea I'm ok then he said if I needed to talk to someone that he is here for me to, then one day I had to tell him that I liked him and not in just a friendship way and he knew I was having problems with my marriage but he was there as a friend only then I had told him that I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him and I didn't want to be with my husband no more. John stated that I should really think about it because he stated that sounded funny but he said if he was to be with me it would be for ever because he has only one heart to give and I told him that I am going to leave my husband but it was going to take time. So we started talking more and meeting for coffee or lunch because he was not going any further than that.

As time went on 3 months he stated that he fell in love with me and wanted to have a life with me and I told him that I want the same. But I don't know how to tell my husband and not even me not making love to my husband he (husband) ask me whets going on and I hope he would so I could tell him that I am not in love with him no more and not happy and haven't been in years. I was going through this marriage lying to him and myself. John tells me that if I love him and want to be with him as much as I say I do then I would do anything and everything to make it happen and I do want him and be with him and I didn't mean it to happen but I love him so much. Should I wait until my husband ask me why I don't want make love to him and tell him then. Because I don't want to lose my love and I want to be with him but I am also scared that my husband well try something and I would give in to him just to get it over with and when I tell my love he will turn and walk away. John stated that he would love no other because it would not be fare to the other person because I am the one he gave his heart to he rather be alone than to be with anyone and that broke my heart and loved him even more. I know this is long but I thought you should know how this started and where I am now so please help me.

Signed, Lost

Dear Lost,

Because your husband was unfaithful many years ago, and it seems you never established a good marriage relationship after that, it seems this is grounds (reason) for you to want to divorce your husband. It would have been better if you had done something about this long ago.

I believe the best thing for you to do is to separate from your husband right away. At least you must tell him that you want a divorce. You must be careful that you don't have sex with him, as you mentioned it might ruin your new relationship with John. Don't wait until your husband asks for sex. But if he does ask for sex before you tell him, then you will have to tell him then.

Try not to tell him you love someone else but he will probably ask you and pressure you and you will have to admit it.

Consider that he could become violent, throw you out of his house, etc. Even if he doesn't want to be married to you anymore, it will still hurt him and it will be a shock to him that you are telling him you want a divorce. You should consult an attorney and/or social worker for advice.

You should also consider that something might happen to prevent you from marrying John. You must get divorced whether you have someone new or not. This is what John means when he says you should do everything and anything you can. But even if you didn't love John, you should separate from your husband, not just want to separate. You must change from feeling to doing. Code: Q108.

The Queen, 12/12/11

My question about my future relation.

Dear Queen,

First of all thanks a lot to you for giving me the answer of my last question. We have a family of 4 members. Me, my brother, a sister and my mother. We have been facing critical financial situation but now the situation is quit better. I have found a better job and my brother and sister are also doing jobs. I have selected my cousin to make her my life partner but I think that I will propose to her after 2 years more when I will become more settled. But if I do not propose to her soon then maybe she will become engaged to any other person. So there is a confusion in my mind whether I should tell her parents now or not about this. My mother feels that my cousin's parents want to engage me and my cousin but I think that I should propose to her after becoming more settled and financially strong.

Signed, M.

Dear M.,

You have a bit of a difficult situation. Your customs are different from ours here in the U.S., so you will have to take this into account also. Waiting until you are better established is a good idea.

Really, it depends a lot on how old you are. If you are old enough, such as in your twenties, and if the only reason you are waiting is to become better established, then I think it would be best if you proposed now but wait about 2 years before you actually get married. The only reason I hesitate to recommend this is because everyone then might begin planning the wedding and spend the next 2 years totally distracted with this which is not what you want.

On the other hand if you are very young yet, or if for any reason you have not totally made up your mind, then it's a good idea to wait before proposing.

The best I can recommend is that you tell your cousin how you feel. Tell her you are planning marriage but it is too soon now, and tell her it might be about 2 years from now. This way, she will have you in mind when she meets other people, and she can compare them with you. Otherwise, she has no idea what you are planning and everyone she meets is a potential husband.

Your customs might not permit this if you have to ask her parents first. I would think, though, that just suggesting what you might do in 2 years if things work out for you both, would be acceptable for you to do. This also doesn't give her parents the idea that there will definitely be a marriage. Code: Q107.

The Queen, 12/12/11

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While all the information is free, I, the Queen, am not responsible for the results upon you or your life. It is up to you to evaluate the information and make a decision for yourself regarding what you should do. Especially for health and medical issues, consult your physician. In no wise am I responsible for your health or your life. All on this website is advisory information only. It should not be considered medical, legal, or other professional advice for any specific individual or situation.

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